Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar and noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off, (it was a fine, dry summer night), flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, and honked the horn. He then moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove very slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car,

He stopped the driver, read him his rights, and administered the Breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it,'" said the beaming and truly proud redneck. "Tonight I'm the Designated decoy."
.
.