You know you are in a Texas church when...

...people grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

...the preacher says, I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering, and five guys stand up.

...the restrooms are outside.

...opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

...a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of.

...when it rains, everyone is smiling.

...prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

...the choir group is known as the OK Chorale.

...the pastor wears boots.

...four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

...there is no such thing as a secret sin.

...baptism is referred to as branding.

...there is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.

...finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

...high notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

...people wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

...people think rapture is when you lift something too heavy.

...the final words of the Benediction are, Ya'll come back now, ya hear?
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Baracky Horror Health Care Show