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Old Age Bites!

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as
you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to
grow in the middle.

Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What could
hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor
instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will
get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing
that you care to exercise.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

You're getting old when an all nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.

You're getting old when your wife gives up fooling around for Lent, and you don't know
till the 4th of July.

You're getting old when you're warned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.

You're getting old when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and
you happen to be barefoot.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do
anything the night before.

You're getting old when your sweetie asks you to go upstairs and make love and your
answer is: "Pick one - can't do both."

The following was sent to me by Abie, that rather shy and retiring gentleman who
lives southwest...

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

10. Don't even think about trying it twice!