Just got this:

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

21. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

more: These puns came through the internet some time ago. � Here they are in case you missed them and for those who've seen them, they're fun to read again. � I do note however, that the following have not been included: � "Put down the tombstone, Mother; you're taking too much for granite", "She was only the stableman's daughter, but all the horsemen knew'er" and the ever popular, "Run for the roundhouse, Nellie, the brakeman can't corner you there"

Robert
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Sean Connery as Bond, holding onto plaques and Lana Wood as Plenty O'Toole in "Diamonds Are Forever" (1971).
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