Helga, an attractive blonde, went on a cruise and, like many who travel, she kept a diary of her six day cruise...

Dear Diary - Day 1
All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this all-girls trip.

Dear Diary - Day 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

Dear Diary - Day 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honoured and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

Dear Diary - Day 4
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

Dear Diary - Day 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Once again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

Dear Diary - Day 6
Today, I saved 1600 lives. Twice.
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