Last week I checked into my hotel in Tampa and was feeling a bit lonely. I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like escorts and such. I picked up the phone book and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs...well, you get the picture! I figured, what the heck, give her a call.

"Hello," the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.
Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated so I rushed right in.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything!
Now, how does that sound?"

"That sounds fantastic," she says, "but you need to press 9 for an outside line."