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And that's how the fight started....
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I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she
said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________________________________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
''No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________________________________________________
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________________________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.
''I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started....
________________________________________________________________________
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________________________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
________________________________________________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken ?man swigging his drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her , 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' ?she sighed, ' He's my old
?boyfriend.? I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and
I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
I said, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
________________________________________________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing golf.
Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When
I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
house.
I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I
handed her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might
as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a
limp.
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