"I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the therapist.

The therapist asked him, "Has she started to neglect you?"

"Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair. She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to sex or says that she has a headache."

The puzzled therapist then asked, "So what's the problem?"

"Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, "but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, Die! You son of a bi!tch, die!"
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Credit for the Halloween cartoon below goes to Ebad, the somewhat shy but always irrepressible gentleman from the midwest...