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Mildred, an older woman, sits down at the bar on a cruise ship and orders herself a Scotch with two drops of water.

As the bartender serves her the drink, she tells him: "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."

As Mildred finishes her drink, the woman seated to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."

Mildred says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man seated on her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."

Mildred says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says.

As he serves her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

Mildred replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole 'nother issue."
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