> 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
> 2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
> 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
> 4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> 5. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
> 6. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
> 7. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
> 8. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
> 9. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
> 10. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
> 11. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
> 12. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
> 13. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
> 14. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
> 15. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
> 16. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
> 17. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
> 18. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
> 19. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
> 20. A will is a dead giveaway.
> 21. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
> 22. A backward poet writes inverse.
> 23. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
> 24. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
> 25. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
> 26 . With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
> 27. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
> 28. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
> 29. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
> 30. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
> 31. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
> 32. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
> 33. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
> 34. A calendar's days are numbered.
> 35. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
> 36. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
> 37. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
> 38. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
> 39. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
> 40. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
> 41. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
> 42. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
> 43. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
> 44. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
> 45. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

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