Perks of reaching

50

or being over

60

and heading

towards

70!

1.

Kidnappers

are not very

interested in you.

2.

In a hostage situation, you are likely to be

released first.

3.

No one expects

you to run ---

anywhere.

4.

People call at 9 PM

and ask,

'Did I wake you?'

5.

People no longer

view you as a

hypochondriac.

6.

There is nothing left

to learn the hard way.

7.

Things you buy now

won't wear out.

8.

You can eat

supper at 4 PM.

9.

You can live

'without sex'

but not your glasses.

10.

You get into

heated arguments

about pension plans.

11.

You no longer think

of speed limits

as a challenge.

12.

You quit trying

to hold your stomach in

no matter who walks

into the room.

13.

You sing along

with elevator music.

14.

Your eyes

won't get

much worse.

15 .

Your investment

in health insurance

is finally beginning

to pay off.

16.

Your joints are more
accurate meteorologists

than the National

Weather Service.

17.

Your secrets are safe

with your friends

because they can't

remember them either.

18.

Your supply of brain cells

is finally down to

a manageable size.

19.

You can't remember

who sent you this list.

20.

You are closer to heaven than you have ever been, and more and more of your family and friends are waiting there, than at the next party you will attend.

And you notice

these are all

in big print

for your convenience.

ONE MORE THING:

Never,

under any circumstances,

take a sleeping pill,

and a laxative on

the same night!