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An elderly woman was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the woman "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat."

"But, madam," he said, "you must know that your derriere is exposed!"

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said: "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this brand new hat!"

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