65º above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Massachusetts plant gardens.

60º above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Massachusetts sunbathe.

50º above zero:
Italian and British cars won't start.
People in Massachusetts drive with the windows down.

40º above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Massachusetts throw on a flannel shirt.

35º above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Massachusetts have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Note: Our gas grill is used year-round - Burgers and steak, cooked indoors via stove, just don't taste the same.

20º above zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Massachusetts close the windows.

Zeroº:
Californians fly away toMexico.
People in Massachusetts get out their winter coats.

10º below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Massachusetts are selling cookies door to door.

20º below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Massachusetts let the dogs sleep indoors.

30º below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Bostonians get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

40º below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Massachusetts start saying...Cold enough foh ya?

50º below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Massachusetts public schools will open two hours late.