The following are entries from a Washington Post contest, in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem... except that the last line had to be unromantic -- as unromantic as the first line was romantic.

One...
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you really screwed up my life.

Two...
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Three...
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not.

Four...
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

Five...
I thought that I could love no other,
That is, until I met your brother.

Six...
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

Seven...
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

Eight...
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Nine...
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

Ten...
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

Eleven...
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
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