My last and final true Elks guest story goes like this ... (only an Elk member can truly visualize/appreciate this scenario.)

One evening during the work week, many years ago, probably during the 1970's, a clams and beer night was being held at the local Elks Lodge in Point Pleasant Beach, NJ. For $2 or $3 one could have all the steamed clams and beer one could eat and drink. Seated at the same table of maybe a dozen attendees was another invited guest (just like I was) who happened to be the President of the IBEW union representing electrical workers from Jersey Central Power & Light Company here in New Jersey. At that time, I was serving as the Alternate General Delegate for a different IBEW Local representing about 900 union telephone workers from NJ Bell Telephone Company in Monmouth & Ocean Counties. 'Val' and I both knew each other prior to the "beer and clams night" ... having shared a few brewskies after work at the local watering hole on many a payday. Val an electric company linemen ... I was a telephone company lineman at the time, so we had lots in common.

Well, before we knew it we were engaged in an undeclared competitive race to see who could eat the most clams. The piles of empty clam shells grew higher and higher and the empty pitchers of beer were left on the table as more plates of clams kept coming and the additional pitchers of beer were being served. Keep in mind, neither Val or myself were Elks members ... we were only invited guests.

At exactly 11 p.m. the large clock in the Elks hall started to chime (as it does every night in all Elks Lodges across the country) and the Lodge Chaplain(?) began reciting his solemn nightly ritual ... "now is the time that we pay our respects to our dearly departed brothers ..." etc., etc. You could hear a pin drop when Val chimed in with a very audible yet somewhat quiet "F... 'em, if they ain't here they don't get any clams"

Needless to say, all bedlam broke loose as we were both escorted from the building and were never invited back again. That was the last time I was ever in an Elks Lodge, anywhere ... other than 25 years ago in 1983 when our daughter, Nancy, rented an Elks Lodge meeting hall to celebrate our 25th wedding Anniversary party for Brenda and me. Of course I was on my best behaviour that night.