What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen, standing in a field. One says to the other: "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

Men are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!

What did one ghost say to another?
Do you believe in people?
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