|
|
|
() 
How many Ivy league students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Vanderbilt: Two--one to call the electrician and one to
call daddy to pay the bill
Princeton: Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the
electrician
Brown: Eleven--one to change the lightbulb and ten
to share the experience
Dartmouth: None--Hanover doesn't have electricity
Cornell: Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack
under the pressure
Penn: Only one, but he gets six credits for it
Columbia: Seventy-six-- one to change the lightbulb, fifty
to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a
counter protest
Yale: None--New Haven looks better in the dark
Harvard: One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves
around him
MIT: Five--one to design a nuclear powered one that never
needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston
using that nuked lightbulb two to install it, and one to write the
computer program that controls the wall switch
Vassar: Eleven--one to screw it and ten to support its
sexual orientation
Middlebury: Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to
find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion
Stanford: One, dude
Oberlin: Three--one to change it and two to figure out how
to get high off the old one
Georgetown: Four--one to change it, one to call Congress
about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the
American U. students
Duke: A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough
to get the bulb out of the socket
Williams: The whole student body--when you're snowed in,
there's nothing else to do
Tufts: Two--one to change the bulb and the other to say
loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student
Sarah Lawrence: Five--one to change the bulb and four to
do an interpretive dance about it
Swarthmore: Eight--it's not that one isn't smart enough to
do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from
too much stress
Boston University: Four--one to change the bulb and two to
check his math homework
Wesleyan: Wesleyan's boycotting GE... you know,
military-industrial complex and all that
Connecticut College: Two--one to change the bulb and one
to complain about how if they were at a better school the
lightbulb wouldn't go out
Virginia: Thirteen--Ten to form student committee to vote
on whether changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor
Code, one to change the bulb, one to hold the keg the he's
standing on, and another to attribute electricity to Mr. Jefferson.
Bowdoin: Three--one to ski down to the general store and
buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school,
and one to screw it in
Boston College: Seven--one to change the light
bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside
down this time
Santa Clara University: One--but you would never know
about it because only Cal and Stanford gets press for
changing their lightbulbs
|
|