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How many SEC Students does it take to change a Lightbulb?
At VANDERBILT: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to
explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at
Harvard.
At GEORGIA: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize
the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.
At FLORIDA: It takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure
out how to get stoned off the old one.
At ALABAMA: It takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about
how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA
investigator.
At OLE MISS: It takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and
three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
At LSU: It takes seven, and each one gets credit for five Semester
hours.
At KENTUCKY : It takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss
how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.
At TENNESSEE: It takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to
buy an orange lamp shade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk
about how much they hate Alabama.
At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to
buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".
At AUBURN: It takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk
about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get
drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.
At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to
discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.
At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas
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