How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald headand a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.