Hal is a guy who lost an eye in a fight. He feels that he looks like a freak without it and goes to a doctor who recommends a glass replacement. Since Hal cannot afford one, the doctor fits one made one out of wood which is cheaper. However, he becomes really self conscious about it and becomes a bit of a recluse.

One day a friend gets him out to a bar. Hal sees everyone dancing and wants to join in. He notices a woman with a rather prominent nose standing around and thinks to himself, "Well, no one else is asking her to dance and she seems worse off than me so I'll ask."

He goes up to her and asks, "Want to dance?"

She looks really excited and says, "Would I? Oh my goodness, would I..."

Hal, thoroughly mortified, and unable to contain himself, blurts out: "Wood eye! Wood eye! Well, screw you, big nose!"
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