1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of manure.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate
Yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the Screw up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a toot.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely Coincidental.

19. What am I? Fly Paper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. it’s a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
Ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a frigging people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it. Like humor, but different.........

32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.

33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. (It’s my mission in life!)

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.

40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

41. Aren't you a black hole of need?

42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

45. If you have something to say, raise your hand, then
Place it over your mouth.

46. I'm too busy; can I ignore you some other time?

47. Don't let your mind wander; it’s too small to be let out on its own.

48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.

49. You're not yourself today; I noticed the improvement straight away.

50. You’re as pretty as a picture; I'd like to hang you.

51. Don't believe everything you think.

52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.

53. Your mouth is moving but all I hear is blah blah blah.

54. Do I look like I care!

55. You say these things like they matter.

56. Are you for real?

57. If I have to listen to you any longer I think I'll cry.

58. You would make a great dart board.

59. Blah blah blah who gives a toot?

60. I have better things to do then this.

61. Why am I here again?