Ole, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow right in the crotch.

Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.

He said "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiancee, Lena, is still a virgin - in every vay."

The doctor told him, "I'm going to have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."

Using four tongue depressors the doctor formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together. Quite an impressive work of art and engineering.

Ole mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth.

That night in the motel room, Lena quickly opens her blouse, revealing a perfect body and tells him, "You're the first vun, Ole. No vun has EVER seen deez."

Ole immediately drops his pants and replies, "Look at dis, Lena... still in DA CRATE!"
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