Wednesday Blurbs...

1. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

2. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said, "Implants?" She hit me.

3. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

4. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

6. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

7. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

8. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

9. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

10. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

11. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

12. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"