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SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
No, really?
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POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
What a guy!
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MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!
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JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
I can see where it might have that effect!
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IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE
Ya' think?!
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COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
Who would have thought!
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ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
They may be on to something!
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MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE
He probably IS the battery charge!
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NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
Weren't they fat enough?!
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ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
Do they taste like chicken?
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LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
Chain-saw Massacre all over again!
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HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is....
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
Did I read that right?
SKIP
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