EllieMae, a gracious lady from the Deep South, sent this one...

Captain Diego Montoya Garcia, of the Invincible Spanish Armada's flagship, Quando was on the deck one day when his first mate ran up to him and cried, "Captain! There is an enemy ship on the horizon!"

Captain Diego turned a calm eye to his mate and said, "Bring me my red shirt."

The first mate ran and got the captain's red shirt, which he put on.

A fierce battle raged and the Quando was victorious.

After the battle, the first mate asked the captain, "Sir, why do you don a red shirt before battle?"

The captain yawned bravely and said, "If I am wounded in battle, the men will not see me bleeding, and they will be inspired."

The mate was in awe of his wise captain. Just then, another crewman ran up to the captain and cried: "Captain! There are twenty enemy ships on the horizon!"

The captain turned to his first mate and ordered, "Bring me my brown pants."
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