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A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen.

The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me, thir?"

"Yes?" replies the clerk.

"Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"

"Pistachio nuts? They're six dollars a pound."

"Sthit!" said the tongue-tied guy as he goes back to browsing and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?"

"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."

"Sthit, tas pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your pickanns?"

"Pecans? They're on sale today, only four fifty a pound."

"Welp, sthit. Just div me a pound of dose den."

"Allright then," says the clerk as he begins bagging up a pound of pecans.

Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Thir, I just wanna tay tank you fuh not making fun of de way I talk, cuz I tan't hep it."

The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed, but I have a rather large nose."

The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tot dat wuz your Johnson since your nuts arr so high."
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