The New York Post newspaper listed 50 best bits, gags and quips of dozens of famous comics. Wish I had a link to them for you. Here is the first one listed, about DIVORCE, by Jay Mohr:
"My son was born two months early. I guess he couldn't wait to get away from that woman, either."

Another good one, by Artie Lange: "Alex Rodriguez never gets clutch hits in October, yet his fans insist on comparing him to Babe Ruth. So A-Rod tries to get as close as he can to Ruth-type achievements. Before the playoffs last year, A-Rod went to a hospital and promised a dying kid that he'd ground out to second Base for him. And I was at the game, people, it's true. -- A-Rod pointed to second base."

Also: "You know why the US can't find Osama Bin Laden? They're using the wrong agency to look for him. Don't send the Army, Navy, Marines or CIA -- send Child Support."

Robert