Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one
out
of
five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread
to
begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person
who
drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the
others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it
follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?"

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and
forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures
on
the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver
the
mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the
two
words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?