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Credit for this one goes to Beef, a sharp and witty gentleman, who lives southeast...
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The newspaper obituary operator received a phone call.

The elderly woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?"

"Five dollars per word, ma'am," came the response.

"Good. Now do you have a paper and pencil handy?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, write this: Bill died."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum."

"Hmmph," came the reply. "You certainly did forget to tell me that."

After a moment of silence, the woman continued, "Got your pencil and paper?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, print this: Bill died - Car for sale."
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