On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.

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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

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In a Podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels.

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On a Septic Tank Truck :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At a Proctologist's door:
To expedite your visit please back in.

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On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

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On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..

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On a Church's Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
Invite us to your next blowout.

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At a Towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

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In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

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On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push.

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At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

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On a Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.

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On a Fence:
Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!

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At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

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Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

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At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.

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In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully. We'll wait.

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At a Propane Filling Station
Thank heaven for little grills.

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Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

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On the Door of a Proctologist and Psychiatrists shared office:
Drs. Smith and Jones Specializing in Odds and Ends

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