I think that I shall never hear,
a poem lovlier than beer.
The brew they serve at O'Brian's on tap,
with coffee colored base and light tan cap.
The pints I love to drink all day,
until my memory melts away.
It's said that poems are written by fools, I fear,
but only Guinness can make a beer.

Recipe for Homemade Guinness:

5 lbs Pale Malt
1 lb Roasted Barley
1 lb Flaked Barley
2 oz Northern Brewer Hops
4 oz Wyeast 1084 Guinness cloned yeast

Mill Pale Malt and Roasted Barley and place in Mash Tun. Add Flaked Barley.

Add 2 gallons of hard city water

Boil 5 gallons of water and add enough to reach 154 deg F.

Cover and insulate for 1 hour.

Measure specific gravity of liquid with hydrometer. Should be between 1.038 and 1.044.

Sparge (filter out grains)

The grainless sweet water is now called wort

Place wort in a boiling tun (vessel) of at least 11 gallons.

Add Hops.

Boil for at least two hours. Add water if needed to make 5 gallons.

Chill rapidly with a beer chiller or condenser to 72 degrees F.

Siphon to 7 gallon food grade pail, leaving coagulated proteins in the boiler.

Add yeast and stir with sterilized paddle.

Cover lightly to prevent contamination.

Look at in in two days and be smile at the thick crust.

Leave it until the head stops growing.

Tightly cover it and add a fermentation lock to prevent contamination.

Allow it to ferment until the bubbles from the fermentation lock every five minutes.

Carefully siphon, into a bottling tun, being careful not to disturb the junk that has accumulated on the bottom.

Take a final hydrometer reading. It should be about 1.004 to 1.010. If it's slightly more or less, relax.

If you're going to bottle or keg, add approx 1/4 cup of sugar, preferably boiled and cooled maltose. This secondary fermentation is to carbonate the stout.

Alternatively, if you're in a hurry, open the spigot and drink all five gallons.

Relax, have a homebrew.