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Abie, a rather shy, retiring gentleman who lives southeast, sent this one...
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Mike was going to be married to Susan, so his father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother and said, Here, try these on. She did and said, These are too big, I can't wear them. I replied: Exactly, I wear the pants in this family and I always will. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Susan, "Here, try these on."

Susan tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me."

Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that. "

Then Susan took off her pants and handed them to Mike.

She said, "Here, you try on mine."

Mike took them and said, "I can't get into your pants."

Susan said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart a$$ attitude, you never will."

And they lived happily every after.
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