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Abie, a rather shy, retiring gentleman who lives southeast, is responsible for this one...

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and other things that took two arms.

One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man had no arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.

He was asked, "Why ARE you so happy anyway?"

The man without arms said, "I'm NOT happy... My a$$ itches."