Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that her husband go with her to Wal-Mart where he gets bored. Here’s a letter sent by a Wal-Mart manager:

“Dear Mrs. Fenton. Over the past few months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment and the specific complaints are listed below.

June 15 – Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

July 2 – Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at five minute intervals.

July 7 – Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

July 10 – Walked up to an employee and told her ‘Code 3 in housewares’ and watched what happened.

August 4 – Asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

September 14 – Moved a ‘CAUTION—WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

September 15 – Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’d bring pillows from the bedding department.

September 23 – When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began to cry and asked: ‘Why can’t you people leave me along?’

October 4 – Looked into the security camera like a mirror and picked his nose.

November 10 – While handling guns in the hunting department, asked a clerk if she knew where the anti-depressants were.

December 6 – In the auto department, practiced the Madonna look with several different size funnels.

December 18 – Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, ‘Pick me, pick me.’

December 21 – When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, ‘No, no, it’s those voices again!”

And, last but not least, December 23—Went into the fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile and then yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”