1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, size 14-16.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine

and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition.

I'll be back soon. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway's, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside.

Works for me Skip