A friend sent this to me, so I want to share it with you. You ebayers will appreciate #7.

> > As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember:
> >
> >
> > 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
>It's
> > called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
> >
> > 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
> >
> > 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only
>expects
> > you to kiss his ring.
> >
> > 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
> >
> > 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
>the
> > bathroom.
> >
> > 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
>drink
> > spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
> >
> > 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
> > there's shipping and handling, too.
> >
> > 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
> > impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
> >
> > 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a
>large
> > trash can.
> >
> > 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me
>off.
> > I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
> >
> > 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
> > Vi@gr@. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
>building.
> >
> > 12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
>and
> > found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies
>could
> > be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will?
>What
> > Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
> >
> > 13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
> >
> > 14. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never
>point
> > the wrong way.
> >
> >
>