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Dragnet, a scholarly gentleman who lives southeast, sent this one...

Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

Father McGuire: "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

Mary: "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

Father McGuire: "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

Mary: "That he did, Father."

Father McGuire: "What did he ask, Mary? "

Mary: "He said, Please Mary, put down that gun."