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Abie, a shy, retiring gentleman who lives southeast, sent this one...
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Some signs that have been recently observed:

In a Podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Septic Tank Truck:
We're#1 in the #2 business.

At a Proctologist's door:
To expedite your visit please back in.

On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

On a Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..

Pizza Shop Slogan:
7 days without pizza makes one weak.

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
Hello....Can we pick your nose?

At a Towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.

In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

On a Maternity Room door:
Push, Push. Push.

At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.

On a Fence:
Salesmen welcome! - Dog food is expensive.

At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!, Stay!

In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully... We'll wait.

At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix

At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't... you will be.