The church organist at Grace Church down in Texas was a very well endowed young woman named Florence.

Regardless of what foundation garment Florence wore, her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, this distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to find another organist.

One of the ladies approached Florence very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She warned Florence, "Don't eat any of the green persimmons because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while." Florence agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said...

"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday..."