The other day I was out with an old girlfriend having a drink. Finally I had to admit my mind had gone blank. I said:

Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.

She glared at me. In fact, for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at me.

Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

(rim shot)

Biggest problem I've been having for the last few years, is that all my Summer clothes are shrinking while they are in the closet over the Winter. I put them on and the shirts are tight, pants won't button right. I haven't figured out what's happening to them yet?