Lottie, from out west, sent me this one...

Jim Bob, a young Southern boy, goes off to college. About a third of the way through the semester, like many other students, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea and decides to call his daddy.

"Daddy," he says, "you just won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the blue tick coonhound and the $1000. About two thirds of the way through the semester, the money runs out. Jim Bob calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding? What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

It's almost the end of the year, and now Jim Bob has a problem. His father will surely find out that Ole Blue can neither talk nor read, so he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him and hear talk and read something!"

"Daddy," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room, reading the morning paper like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' and I was just stunned."

The father says, "Well I hope you shot that sumb!tch before he can talk in front of your mamma!"

"I sure did, Daddy!"

"THAT'S my boy!"