The Value of Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be
out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then
I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver."

~ Jack Handy

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I decided to give
up reading."

~ Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not."

~ Stephen Wright

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry

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To some , it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.

~ Dave Howell

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,
of Cheers:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can
only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for
the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health
of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of
the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.
But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter
after a few beers."