Blue Diamond, from out west, is responsible for this one...

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon and slams them down nearly breaking the glasses on the bar. He turns and replies, "Yeah? Well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

They both turn to the third mouse, who lets out a long sigh and tells other two, "Look, I don't have time for this bullsh!t. I gotta go home and screw the cat."