The husband had just finished reading a new book that he'd bought called, 'You CAN Be The Man of Your House."

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly: "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law!"

He continued, "You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want.

Pausing to catch his breath, he went on: "After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands."

He finished by adding: "Then, after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife, looking him up and down, replied: "The f___ing funeral director would be my guess."