I also added one of her favorite sayings.
I don't know if this is her all-time
favorite saying...but it is the one
that she uses with me the most.

She's not really all that bad for an
old bat. Please don't tell her that
I said that...she does have a bit of
a temper....I once suffered several
broken bones after commenting
on her hair....but mostly she
sleeps all day and if I keep my
bedroom door triple bolted at
night there's usually not a problem...

She likes to gamble...but mostly
plays poker online after an
unfortunate misunderstanding
at a number of vegas casinos
when several dealers were badly
maimed and ...yes...in a couple of
instances worse...when they made
the unforgivable mistake of
turning up bad river cards...
most of them have healed nicely..
although a few are still missing
limbs...i think the casinos
overreacted...we've all been
plaqued by dealers who don't
understand the principals
of bad beats...

The only thing i really hate
about her coming to visit is
that she often brings her son
"billy bob" with her...he's
very different in many ways....the
family fondly calls him Pigboy..
something to do with he personal
hygiene...it is also a reference
to his father...whom no one has ever
met...he spends the whole visit tying
up the computer and selling stuff on
ebay..often i end up getting calls
from nutty ashtray collectors complaining
about deals gone bad...geez...what kind
of strange people collect ashtrays
anyways....I wonder what their
mother-in-laws must be like...

Well i better run...its almost dark
and she'll be here soon...now where
did i put my cross and that garlic
necklace.....