An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed at her. "And where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff,sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here with ye, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"As ye wish, Dad. I just came back to give mum this nice fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye, Dad, the sparkling new Mercedes convertible that's parked outside and a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" interrupts Dad.

Girl, crying again, "(Sniff, sniff...) a prostitute dad! (Sniff, sniff)."

"Oh! Bejesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"