Elwood, a corporate vice president, was looking to hire an assistant. Elwood was born without ears and although his hearing was fine, he was extremely sensitive about it. He decided he wanted an assistant with tact and sensitivity and had lined up three candidates with excellent resumes to be interviewed.

The first candidate walks in for his interview.

After a cordial greeting, Elwood asks, "What's the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, you don't have any ears."

Elwood coldly responds: "I don't think you possess enough sensitivity for this position. Thank you for coming in."

Candidate number two walks in for his interview.

Elwood greets him cordially and asks, "What's the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "It's obvious. You haven't any ears."

Elwood, still smarting from the previous interview, tells him: "You are positively crude and without tact. Please leave now."

On the way out the guy tells the last remaining candidate: "Whatever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - he'll kick you right out."

Candidate number three walks in for his interview.

Another cordial greeting and Elwood asks: "What's the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy gazes intently for a few seconds and responds: "Why, I believe you wear contact lenses."

Elwood is amazed and tells the guy, "It is impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell that I wear contact lenses?"

The candidate, fighting to hold back his laughter says, "Because you don't have any f#@*ing ears to hang the glasses on."