Sarah...

You, my dear, are an absolute pleasure, and consequently it's always an absolute pleasure to talk to you, to see you, and to do something special for you! Although I can't speak for MY special friend, Mr. Weintraub, I know that I would just LOVE to see you in one of your productions one of these days. I'm sure your were as terrific as your dad told me you were... I can only imagine what kind of stretch it must have been for you to play Daddy Warbucks. Your parents must be SO proud!

I must also say that you are probably the most eloquent 14-year-old I've ever met. I know that my own daughter, when she was 14, could barely string two sentences together. Now, she's 16 and can do this with ease.

But enough of the small talk... let's get down to business. At this point, I think it's time that I introduce you to your future husband. There's a photo of him below that I took 5 minutes ago. His name is Kevin, but in some circles, he's known as "Smooth6". If you can overlook the minor 3-year age difference, and the fact that he's currently (due to an inspired bit of halloween typecasting) wearing a toilet bowl outfit, I think you'll find a kindred spirit here, who under my personal guidance will undoubtedly become husband material when you're ready to look for one. I can say with authority that he is a better poker player than either your dad or myself, and he should be able to support you well when he turns pro in a couple of years.