Another one from, Beef, my southern friend...

Two old ladies, Mildred and Blanche, are outside their assisted-living home having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.

Blanche pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

"What in hell is that?" asks Mildred.

"A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." explains Blanche.

"Where did you get it?" asks Mildred.

"You can get them at any drugstore." says Blanche.

The next day, Blanche hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter, Sonny..." says Blanche, "Just as long as it fits on a Camel."