Another one from Beef, my friend from the south...

Mule-Pie Surprise

During World War I a combination cook and baker observed on the battlefield that quite a few mules were being killed by artillery shells. He got the idea of making a gigantic confection -- the world's biggest mule meat pie. He reasoned that, not only would it make the Guinness Book of Records but all that good mule meat wouldn't go to waste.

Whenever an outfit passed by, he begged it for any extra flour or sugar or spice that they had, until he finally had accumulated all the necessary ingredients. Working with great difficulty, he managed to convert a section of the trenches into a gigantic oven. Finally, he was ready to go to work on this feat that would make him famous...

Unfortunately, just at that very moment a shell from a Big Bertha dropped on top of his makeshift oven and blew everything sky high.

"Gosh darn it!" cried the cook, "There go my ass pie rations!"